


maybe this hurts (like hell)

by mangozaya



Category: TREASURE (Korea Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Unreliable Narrator Jaehyuk, bttm jae agenda rise lmao, mild sexual content with feelings is how id describe this, please take this messy character relationship dynamic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:08:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29730219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangozaya/pseuds/mangozaya
Summary: In private, Jaehyuk admits to Yoshinori that he had stumbled—making way for a pink-tinged affection—at the first sight of Jihoon. In public, it’s easier for Jaehyuk to play along with Jihoon’s instance that they're just casual. It's better that way, until it isn't.(And maybe, justmaybe, it’s all really starting to hang heavy on Jaehyuk.)
Relationships: Park Jihoon/Yoon Jaehyuk
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	maybe this hurts (like hell)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [roseyong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseyong/gifts).



> note that jaehyuk is a very unreliable narrator here, so when he thinks that jihoon is just fucking around, you can safely assume that to be false or exaggerated. in the same way, jihoon's true feelings are not quite depicted in this piece, as most of this is vaguely jaehyuk's point of view
> 
> bee this is for u ^^ just 2k of sad gays who we love lmaoo

Jihoon dares to clasp delicately onto Jaehyuk’s jacket zipper, fiddling for a moment, his fingers slipping every few seconds, riling Jaehyuk up with how long Jihoon pretends to not know how to track his zipper down. Jihoon must finally take pity because he shifts the air between them, leaning close to the shell of Jaehyuk’s ear.

“You waiting for something?”

It’s infuriating cocky, and Jaehyuk’s knees buckle under the weight of Jihoon’s hooded gaze, his weight pinning Jaehyuk securely against the sickly green walls of his apartment, and Jaehyuk can only form a half-coherent phrase, one he all but rushes out in a single breath, mouthing the beginnings of a _can I?_

“ _Surprise_ me,” Jihoon offers once more, his taunt nothing but saccharine dripped, raising his hand to Jaehyuk’s face, pressing a thumb just under the swell of Jaehyuk’s cheekbone.

Jaehyuk distantly thinks that he’d like to sink his teeth down on Jihoon’s stupidly endearing smirk, slipping into something far too unhinged to be attractive, but before Jaehyuk can do any such thing, Jihoon noses gently along Jaehyuk’s collar, rolling his tongue over the sensitive area, and _bites._

♡

“Did he- these are teeth marks, is he _biting_ you?”

Jaehyuk twists his neck, wincing at the slight shock at his own sudden movement, but attempts to peer over his shoulder to where Junkyu’s eyes are glued. Junkyu doesn’t give any warning before pulling Jaehyuk’s shirt even lower down his back, forcing the collar of the shirt to tug painfully at Jaehyuk’s neck.

"Yes, on the back!" Junkyu’s prodding harshly now, digging his thumb into a tender bruise just under the dip of Jaehyuk’s shoulder blade, and Jaehyuk resists the urge to turn and swat at Junkyu, if only to preserve his own dignity.

“Knock if _off_ , that shit hurts.”

“Not my fault you’re a fucking chew-toy, I don’t even understand how-” Junkyu rapts his knuckles against another purpling bruise, just to the left of Jaehyuk’s hunched spine, “-these are only a day old, is he trying to _eat_ you?”

“He just gets really into it,” Jaehyuk mutters, hissing once more as Junkyu’s nails drag bluntly down Jaehyuk’s back, relentless in finding every bruise and bite mark littering his skin.

“I’m never going to understand how you put up with this, this is crazy.”

Jaehyuk bites back a _honestly me neither_ , because if he thinks too hard about it, he’s left with more questions than he knows he’s got answers for.

♡

It happens all over again the next day, but Jaehyuk can’t find it in himself to tell Jihoon to go lighter on the marks.

Jihoon apparently finds some sick satisfaction in further darkening each inflicted bite he made the day prior—digging his nails into Jaehyuk’s tender skin, his tongue skimming along the base of Jaehyuk’s neck—until the aftermath of Jihoon’s efforts are hidden from no one.

Junkyu throws a bag of ice at Jaehyuk when he gets home, just narrowly missing his eye.

♡

Yoshinori glares Jaehyuk down when they meet for Thursday morning coffee, eyeing Jaehyuk with a simple: “You haven’t told him yet, have you?”

(It’s been over a month of missed moments and fleeting touches, a clear undercurrent of something but not enough communication from either Jihoon or Jaehyuk. Yoshinori finally stages an intervention, bringing a nodding Junkyu in tow.)

Jaehyuk goes to defend himself, but Yoshinori cuts him off with a sharp, “It’s _Jihoon_ , he’s never going to make it weird between you two, even if you did initiate this stupid friends-but-not-really-with-benefits.”

Yoshinori’s blunt, but Jaehyuk’s always appreciated honesty.

Jaehyuk sniffs and lies. “I don’t understand why you’ve been so insistent-”

“That you don’t do casual? Because I’ve known you for years, and I’ve been there with you through _every break up._ You can’t seriously be trying to pull this shit with me,” Yoshinori snaps, but there’s no real heat behind his tone. He’s much too kind to call Jaehyuk out. It isn’t always the best dynamic.

Jaehyuk doesn’t look up from his untouched cream pastry, flicking the sugared crust slightly as he sighs deeply into a steaming cup of hot chocolate, the vapor comically clouding his glasses in the process. Junkyu looks over at Jaehyuk, more sympathy in his eyes than anything, and lightly bumps Jaehyuk's shoulder.

“You know we’re here for you, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Jaehyuk replies shortly, but he gets it, _really_ he does, because he’s just as frustrated. Lately, figuring out exactly what was going on between him and Jihoon was making his head spin in a painfully headache-inducing way.

“I’ll figure it out, maybe talk to him tonight. It can’t hurt, I guess,” Jaehyuk concedes, and the small gifted smile from Yoshinori is as much an encouragement as it is a threat.

♡

(It’s in his small town library that Jihoon first caught Jaehyuk’s eye, notes the rosy pink hue dusting Jaehyuk’s cheekbones, his lip caught up between his teeth from where he’s looking unabashedly in Jihoon’s direction, and Jaehyuk knows he felt something warm unfurl in his chest.

In private, Jaehyuk admits to Yoshinori that he had stumbled at the first sight of Jihoon. In public, it’s easier for Jaehyuk to play along with Jihoon’s kind instance that _it’s just casual, so we don’t have to feel weird about this._

And maybe, just _maybe_ , it’s all really starting to hang heavy on Jaehyuk.)

♡

Jaehyuk doesn’t know who he was trying to fool, because they don’t end up talking about anything remotely productive.

Yoshinori’s going to _kill him_ , but it’s a risk he can’t be bothered to think about at the moment, not with the way Jihoon winds himself so tightly around Jaehyuk that there’s no space between where Jihoon’s tucked himself to fit alongside Jaehyuk on the couch, their breaths mingling in the stale air.

Jihoon’s working them up to a irregular rhythm, driving his hips forward as Jaehyuk twists with each motion, shallowing fucking himself back on Jihoon, knees buckling from where he’s perched above Jihoon, gazing down through lidded eyes as Jihoon cradles Jaehyuk’s hips.

It takes everything in Jaehyuk to ignore how Jihoon’s hair delicately curls at the base of his neck—how Jihoon rolls his eyes back when Jaehyuk grabs a particularly sensitive grip of hair, the way Jihoon’s hips _finally_ snap up into Jaehyuk despite Jihoon grinning and goading that it was up to Jaehyuk to _do all the work tonight_.

They’re far too reckless, wrapped up entirely in each other and knocking Jaehyuk’s lamp fully off the side table as Jihoon shifts his weight entirely, pushing Jaehyuk onto his back and narrowing missing the arm of the couch, but Jaehyuk can’t find it in himself to care, not when Jihoon’s whine gets caught deep in his throat, unraveling Jaehyuk further.

Jihoon crowds Jaehyuk close, their angle shifting without warning, but Jaehyuk can hardly focus on anything beyond the blunt rake of Jihoon’s nails down his side and across his chest—it’s primal at best, Jihoon’s habit of leaving marks for all of their friends to see.

It’d burn in the morning when Jaehyuk woke, and Jihoon might offer to gently apply some off-brand vitamin oil to Jaehyuk’s back while throwing on his shoes to step out the door, but for now Jaehyuk revels in keeping Jihoon’s attention entirely to himself, no matter how achingly insincere he feels Jihoon’s affection to be.

Jihoon gives a final press of his hips, and Jaehyuk imagines this is what it feels like to be the center of someone’s world, at least in this moment in time.

Jaehyuk should have known the afterglow wouldn’t last.

After an uncoordinated shower where Jaehyuk gets far too much shampoo in his eye and not enough in his hair, Jihoon knocks out the second his head hits the pillow, warm and sleepy, not concerned with anything beyond dragging Jaehyuk close enough to share heat.

Jaehyuk watches Jihoon sleep, and for once is faring _terribly._ It’s a sharp, painful contrast.

Jihoon rumbles peacefully, shifting slight in his sleep, but Jaehyuk’s so close to _irrationality_ , so close to just calling this whole thing off, so close to just ending their entire situational relationship—or whatever other sad, penned name Jihoon can come up with for what they _might be_ ; are they even friends? Jaehyuk still doesn’t have an answer, even after all these months—and while pressure builds just behind his eyes, and every logical thought points to Jaehyuk just _getting the hell out of there_ , his body betrays him.

It always does.

He snaps his lamp light off and settles beside Jihoon, too tired to place his emotions for the night. _Next time, maybe_ is what he tells himself.

♡

It’d be more comical if everything wasn’t so fragile, but Jaehyuk’s doesn’t quite learn his lesson _next time_.

His night ends the same as it has for the past two weeks, with Jihoon balancing his weight precariously above Jaehyuk, both breathless, Jaehyuk unraveling between the expanse of Jihoon’s shifting thighs, hazy and trembling with every delicate kiss that Jihoon tracks along the column of his neck.

Jihoon grips Jaehyuk’s shoulders with manicured nails, digging deep into his skin, watching the way Jaehyuk’s cheeks flush with exertion, dusted in delicate pink, his eyes open and vulnerable. It takes everything in Jihoon to not just slump forward, and he instead intertwines his fingers with Jaehyuk, giving Jaehyuk’s hand a gentle tug. It’s almost too kind, with how Jihoon checks in with Jaehyuk quietly, a light _is this okay?_ being wordlessly asked every few moments. It all makes Jaehyuk want to cry in a way he doesn’t fully realize yet.

It’s easier if he stops thinking altogether. His breath is warm against Jihoon’s shoulders from where he shifts uncomfortably, taking him time to adjust to the feeling of being full, Jihoon’s hold acting as an anchor. Jaehyuk can feel his chest grow taut as he arches forward slightly, lifting his hips and pressing forward, chasing Jihoon’s own movements as they murmur in the spaces between each other, the stretch of Jihoon leaving Jaehyuk to brace himself against Jihoon’s chest.

It’s a momentary decision, but Jihoon slips a hand from Jaehyuk’s hip, reaching to grind the base of his palm against the low dip of Jaehyuk’s waist, hovering far too close and yet somehow not close enough. As quickly as Jihoon can react to Jaehyuk’s sudden spasm around him, Jaehyuk sounds low in his throat, and Jihoon suddenly shifts, driving his hips into the heat between Jaehyuk’s thighs, leaving Jaehyuk to groan at the drag of friction.

It’s easy to fall into what Jihoon offers—easy comfort, baseline emotional connection, a quick fuck with the promise of leftover cold pizza—but it’s getting harder for Jaehyuk to dig himself out of the pit he’s fallen into, and he wonders if Jihoon feels the same unsettling cold that’s been seeping into Jaehyuk’s bones.

 _Probably not_ , is what that unpleasant voice in his head whispers, the same voice that keeps Jaehyuk coming back night after night.

For once, Jaehyuk finds it in himself to fight back.

When Jihoon moves to clean them both, using poorly wrapped towels with startlingly cold water, Jaehyuk doesn’t say anything, and Jihoon doesn’t comment. He merely makes quick work of shrugging his shirt back on, leaving it hanging open as he settles back under the covers, shifting closer to Jaehyuk. There’s a sliver of space not usually between them both, but Jaehyuk makes no moves to close it; something has shifted in the air between them both, creating a static that Jaehyuk doesn’t know how to approach. Jihoon doesn’t bother commenting.

It somehow makes everything worse. Jaehyuk inhales sharply and turns to Jihoon, just missing his gaze, instead focusing his eyes on a slight bruise just at the dip of Jihoon’s collar.

“We really need to stop this.” It’s quiet. Jaehyuk doesn’t bother raising his voice, but Jihoon hears him loud and clear. It’d be hard not to, with how he’s tucked carefully into Jaehyuk’s shoulder, the flush of Jihoon’s skin still emanating warmth from moments before.

Jihoon’s subdued _okay_ is lost somewhere between the both of them.

Jaehyuk doesn’t know why he was expecting another answer.

They sleep intertwined into the next morning.

**Author's Note:**

> carefully noting this piece as complete because it came to a sort-of natural end, but jihoon's pov and a happy ending is something that's knocking around in my brain, though i am terrible at writing sequels so kdjsfljg
> 
> thank you for reading, fellow jihyuk enthusiasts please make yourself known lmaoo
> 
> also bee, you are the entire motivation for why i got around to finishing this mess of a piece skajndkj i am thankful to you always weeee ♡ ♡ i thank all the lit enthusiasts for letting me ramble about jihyuk for like,, oh gosh,, 6 months? wild


End file.
